Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Most Sincere Apology to my Mother in law

Okay, so today was the MRI on my shoulder so they can maybe figure out why its still hurting (yes, even after the cortisone shot). While talking to my MIL about it last week she wished me luck and told me of her MRI adventures. She is somewhat claustrophobic (I think we all have a bit of it in us) and said it was one of the worst things she has ever had to do. I very flippantly said "Oh, I'll just probably sleep through the whole thing." No big deal, right ~ WRONG!
I really went there with no worries at all... I get to do nothing but lay there for 20 minutes ~ yes please, can I get two? The guy doing my MRI was very nice (not too bad on the eyes either) and explained how it all worked, put pillows under my head, my arm, my knees for comfort. I was even okay when they strapped me down (go ahead, insert your own dirty thoughts here) but the moment the table went into the tube I started to panic. I now know how sausage feels being put into casing. It packs you in there like a sardine and then I made the mistake of opening my eyes! Yikes. What I actually said at that point was "please bring me back out ~ please" but inside my head went more like OH MY F...ING GOD ~ GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOW!"
Fortunately he did just that and I felt like a complete idiot but I said "I'm sorry ~ I don't think I can do this". Actually I think I said that several times all the while knowing I was being completely irrational but also knowing there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. There was no way I'd be able to be enclosed like that for 20 minutes. He did say we could reschedule and there were drugs they could give me so that I really could sleep thru the whole thing but even the knowledge that I'd still be in that tube was really freaking me out. Now you also must know that this is what the call an "open" MRI with the widest tube and the shortest tunnel ~ still, no help there. But the technician was a very nice guy and actually was listening when I said "it wouldn't be so bad if I could see out the other side" and he got an idea. He took the pillow out from under my head which solved two problems. One being that my face was now a good 6" away from the inside of the tube as opposed to 2" and secondly I could now (by looking back) see outside the tunnel. PHEW. It was still not a happy place but with a little help from the tech I managed to get thru it but I can promise you I will never see another one of those hospital shows and watch someone get an MRI without breaking out in a cold sweat!
Kudos to those of you, and I know several, who actually do sleep thru these things and don't understand the problem. I thought I was one of you but never again will I mock anyone's irrational fears ~ they are very real to me now. I'm actually worried about going to sleep tonight for fear I'll dream myself back in there. That was my day ~ so how was yours? Got any phobias you want to talk about? Go ahead, I dare you... click the "comments" button and let's hear them. It won't help them go away but it'll make me feel a whole lot better!

p.s. Here's the tech (American Indian I believe with a long black pony tail down his back ~ yum) and the "coffin of doom." ~ and yes, once I regained my composure I was a dork enough to ask him to pose for me ~ but hey, he offered to do it shirtless (that photo is in my "private collection").

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