On becoming a "Grammy"

No, it hasn't happened yet ~ but will any day now. My bags are packed so I can head to Jacksonville the minute I get the call. If nothing happens in the next few days,  they will induce Jen on Thursday so I will go up on Wednesday night. In some ways it just hasn't seemed real. I get excited when I see Jen looking all pregnant. I love to rub her belly and talk to the baby. But the thought that my baby is having a baby ~ WOW!

It's funny, most people, when they talk about becoming grandparents ~ their concern is being perceived as old. Me, I've dreamed of being a grandparent forever. I guess it's mostly that I didn't really have grandparents.

My mother's mother died years before I was born and although I was 6 yrs old when her father passed away, we left New York when I was 6 months old ~ and I never saw him after that. This is a scrapbook page my cousin Linda made for me since there are no pictures that I know of, with both of us together.

My birthfather's parents (mother and step father) came to visit a few times when I was very young. She was mean ~ and I'm not talking strict, I'm talking mean. She would feed her poodle (which she dyed different colors) ice cream and told my sister and I we didn't deserve it because we were bad children. She also told us one time (while our mother was in the hospital) that our mother was going to die and it was all our fault ~ again because we were bad children. Her husband was a nice man but when they came to see us, he would to to the dog track pretty much every day. I now think it was to get away from her! He always promised to take me with him when I turned 18 (back then you couldn't go unless you were 18) but I think I might have been 7 or 8 the last time I saw them.

When my mom married my dad (I consider the dad that raised me my "real" dad), he came with two sets of parents. His dad and stepmom who I only saw a couple of times, didn't consider me their grandchild. His mom and step dad were nice people. They lived in Michigan and we would go see them for a week in the summer and eventually they moved to Florida. I think my dad's stepfather died when I was in my late teens, shortly after they moved here so I really didn't know him well.  My dad's mom was a nice person ~ she really was. She did, however, believe blood is thicker than water and my dad's "real" kids (from his first marriage) were her real grandchildren. She was still very nice to us ~ but it wasn't the same.

Anyway, the point of all that drama was that I always knew when I grew up, I would be the kind of grandmother you always heard about. I would spoil my grandchildren and buy them things and bake them cookies. I had a vision of having lots of grandkids and loving them all ~ equally.

I will say that I had a great role model ~ my mom.  She was a wonderful grandmother.   My oldest sister's three girls, my brother's daughter Trish and my Jen.  Now, while she didn't give birth to two of the above mentioned and didn't even raise one of us... they were all her grandchildren and she loved them all equally.   It's just a shame she didn't get to meet all of her current grandchildren ~ they are amazing!

I already have Tyler and Bryce (from Alex) and yes, they are not legally my grandchildren but they call me Grammy and I love them to death. I just wish they lived closer and I could get to see them more often.

Back to Jen and this grandchild.... I have been pretty calm about all of this but I have to tell you, in the last couple of days I have been a bit overwhelmed by the vision of holding this new baby. I get choked up just thinking about it. I've seen a lot of babies lately and it's taken on a new meaning for me. WE are gonna have a new baby ~ there is just nothing better! I already love this child and just can't wait to hold him or her. This new chapter in my life is right around the next corner and I am anxious for it to start.