Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Favorite Funny Story

So, I have to tell this story because it would be a shame for it to be forgotten. It's one of the older kids' favorites, so here it goes. Way back in 1992 the family took a little vacation to Orlando, Fla. We were living in Raleigh, NC at the time and the family consisted of Me, Honey, Jen, Alex and Mayla. For those of you who don't know the players here...
Honey is my darling hubster
Jen, biological daughter and Mayla, Jen's best friend and unofficially adopted daughter.
Alex, eldest unofficially adopted daughter ... and yes, all of these girls lived with us off and on. Poor Honey was completely outnumbered.
Anyway, the five of us pile into the family van and drive down to Orlando. The first day of our vacation we went to Disney's Magic Kingdom. I think we probably got there right when the park opened at 8:00 am and stayed until the park closed around 1:00 am. As we were leaving, Honey spotted a vendor cart selling those delicious cinnamon roasted nuts. Now back then these were a rare treat found only at fairs and festivals and Honey happens to love them. Unfortunately the park and the vendor were closing and they wouldn't sell him any. He was one tired and disappointed Honey.
The next morning the five of us headed to Universal Studios for a day of fun. We had only been there for a short time when I caught a whiff of something really wonderful ... Could it be?? Yes, it really was. So in my most demure ... Who am I kidding... In my loudest most excited voice I yelled .... Wait for it...

 HONEY, I SMELL YOUR NUTS!!! 

Now, I realized what was coming out of my mouth but it was too late. The mouth engaged before the brain kicked in... And it was LOUD! Poor Honey just shook his head and kept walking, not wanting anyone to know that he was the honey of the smelly nuts of which I spoke.

 The girls, well they just lost it. They were laughing so hard they fell on the ground with tears pouring out of their eyes. Me, I just stood there dumbfounded at my own blunder. People walking past just staring at the crazy lady yelling about her husband's smelly junk. Others who miraculously hadn't heard, wondering about the three girls rolling on the ground hysterical.

 Poor Honey has never been able to live this one down, especially since the girls love for me to retell it though.

 There was some payback for me though. A bit later in the day I was shat upon by a very nasty seagull who had apparently been saving it up for someone very special. He flew over my head and let loose a gallon of the most vile and nasty black bird poop ever! It was in my hair, on my face and all over my clothes. I had to literally wash my head in the sink of the women's restroom to get it out. Disgusting! Needless to say, it's a
vacation we will never forget.

7 comments:

Kate said...

oh Barb, I so needed that laugh after a very long week at work! Don't feel alone, I have quite a few "did I really just say that?" moments!
Hope all is going swimmingly well in N Va.

Kate

Beeshebags said...

OMG I have tears streaming down my face and I sound like a demented hyena pack....hope Honey has learnt to never go on vacation with smelly nuts again!

Hugs
Naomi

Beeshebags said...

Also, I hope you don't mind, but I linked to this story on your blog from mine!

Hugs
Naomi

GKJ said...

Do you always blog about smelly nuts and bird poo? I only ask because this is the first time I've read your blog (found through Link at "nomes brag along). Now that I've stopped laughing I'm not sure if to run away or read more! ;) thanks for the laugh, in fact I'm still giggling :) so what is this blog about? *goes off to look around*

retdairyqueen said...

OMG Love it
Nomes sent me over

Michelle Ridgway said...

OMG! We are screaming with laughter here too being on an extended vacation in a campervan with my Honey. Thanks so much for the big belly laugh. LOL!!!!!
hugs Michelle

MsMidge said...

Gold!